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Under the Udala Trees"If you've ever wondered if love can conquer all, read this] stunning coming of age debut." Marie Claire A New York Times Book Review Editors' Choice Named a Best Book of the Year by NPR * BuzzFeed * Bustle * Shelf Awareness * Publishers Lunch " This] love story has hypnotic power." The New Yorker Ijeoma comes of age as her nation does. Born before independence, she is eleven when civil war breaks out in the young republic of Nigeria. Sent away to
"If you've ever wondered if love can conquer all, read this] stunning coming-of-age debut." -- Marie Claire A New York Times Book Review Editors' Choice Named a Best Book of the Year byNPR * BuzzFeed * Bustle * Shelf Awareness * Publishers Lunch " This] love story has hypnotic power."--The New Yorker Ijeoma comes of age as her nation does. Born before independence, she is eleven when civil war breaks out in the young republic of Nigeria. Sent away to safety, she meets another displaced child and they, star-crossed, fall in love. They are from different ethnic communities. They are also both girls. But when their love is discovered, Ijeoma learns that she will have to hide this part of herself--and there is a cost to living inside a lie. Inspired by Nigeria's folktales and its war, Chinelo Okparanta shows us, in "graceful and precise" prose (New York Times Book Review), how the struggles and divisions of a nation are inscribed on the souls of its citizens. "Powerful and heartbreaking, Under the Udala Trees is a deeply moving commentary on identity, prejudice, and forbidden love" (BuzzFeed). "An important and timely read, imbued with both political ferocity and mythic beauty." -- Bustle "A real talent. Under the Udala Trees is] the kind of book that should have come with a cold compress kit. It's sad and sensual and full of heat." -- John Freeman, Electric Literature "Demands not just to be read, but felt." -- Edwidge Danticat
Binding Type: Paperback
Publisher: Mariner Books
Published: 09/20/2016
ISBN: 9780544811799
Pages: 336
Weight: 0.60lbs
Size: 7.90h x 5.20w x 1.00d
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4.6 ★★★★★
Based on 8 reviews
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 5
Best Book on Improving Communication in Relationships
Format: Paperback
Such a helpful book, with concrete tips for improving communication in relationships. I find myself returning to this book whenever things become challenging in a relationship. I also attended a retreat based on the book’s teachings. Incredibly helpful.
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on July 23, 2025
★★★★★ 3
Interesting, but not empirically validated, and written explicitly for straight people (why?!)
Format: Kindle
This one’s the 500-pound gorilla of the healthy-couple self-help genre, with thirty years in print, scores of Oprah appearances by the authors, thousands of therapists practicing the Imago framework.
The main thing that I need to tell you about this updated edition, from the year 2019, is that it does not mention or acknowledge the existence of queer or same-sex couples even one time. In fact, it really doubles down on the husband and wife stuff, takes gender roles pretty seriously, which is not a thing I realized we did anymore, except as a joke. Anyway, talking only to straight people is not too relevant to my interests, and while the conservative Christian viewpoint is pretty subtle in the advertising, just be aware of that PROBABLY NOT ACCIDENTAL omission going in, queer friends.
(This is made even more impressive by the fact that the heart of the Imago approach is based on childhood trauma, about the ways in which our parents caused us to suppress or hide or ignore parts of ourselves in order to be accepted and loved. Just let that sink in, because I’ve been reading this book for the past week and I am still reeling from the irony that people who have been thinking for the past three decades about the ways that parents cause trauma to kids by failing to accept parts of them have missed the VERY OBVIOUS AND RELEVANT EXAMPLE of queer folks.)
That aside, for me the book was a mixed-bag of some interesting and provocative ideas (I’d put these in the category of poetic notions, or interesting narrative ideas), alongside some really kooky 20th century neo-Freudian stuff (rooted in part in Freud’s theory of repetition compulsion.) I’m no fan of Freudian approaches, and after I started this book, I decided to see how empirically-validated this Imago approach is: based on what I found, there seems to be basically no evidence that this therapy is effective.
Am I glad I read it? I think so?? It was thought-provoking, with the pretty significant grain of salt that there’s not much evidence to support that Imago therapy is much better than doing nothing at all. Also, I feel a little gross giving my money to relationship experts who (in 2019!!)) won’t even acknowledge the existence of queer people, even when doing so would obviously strengthen their core arguments and provide better examples than some of the meek ones they give.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 18, 2021
★★★★★ 5
Great book!
Format: Paperback
I read this once through on my own and picked up a lot of great wisdom. Now my spouse are reading it together so we can answer the questions together. I'm excited for thought provoking discussions on raising our future child.
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on November 4, 2020
★★★★★ 5
Now you know (some of) what you don't know
Format: Kindle
As I'm ready to embark on parenthood, I truly appreciated the insights offered by these parents. The learning has given me more confidence and preparation in managing expectations, handling difficult situations and being the ideal parent.
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Reviewed in the United States on February 12, 2019
★★★★★ 5
As an expectant parent, I found the information in ...
Format: Paperback
As an expectant parent, I found the information in the book to be helpful. While I know I will not come across all the topics immediately, I know I can keep it as a reference in my journey of parenting.
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Reviewed in the United States on January 14, 2017
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