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Description
Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never HearThis is Oh, the Places You'll Never Go the ultimate hilarious, cynical, but absolutely realistic view of a college graduate's future. And what he or she can or can't do about it. "This commencement address will never be given, because graduation speakers are supposed to offer encouragement and inspiration. That's not what you need. You need a warning." So begins Carl Hiaasen's attempt to prepare young men and women for their future. And who better to
This is Oh, the Places You'll Never Go--the ultimate hilarious, cynical, but absolutely realistic view of a college graduate's future. And what he or she can or can't do about it. "This commencement address will never be given, because graduation speakers are supposed to offer encouragement and inspiration. That's not what you need. You need a warning."So begins Carl Hiaasen's attempt to prepare young men and women for their future. And who better to warn them about their precarious paths forward than Carl Hiaasen? The answer, after reading Assume the Worst, is: Nobody.
And who better to illustrate--and with those illustrations, expand upon and cement Hiaasen's cynical point of view--than Roz Chast, best-selling author/illustrator and National Book Award winner? The answer again is easy: Nobody.
Following the format of Anna Quindlen's commencement address (Being Perfect) and George Saunders's commencement address (Congratulations, by the way), the collaboration of Hiaasen and Chast might look typical from the outside, but inside it is anything but.
This book is bound to be a classic, sold year after year come graduation time. Although it's also a good gift for anyone starting a job, getting married, or recently released from prison. Because it is not just funny. It is, in its own Hiaasen way, extremely wise and even hopeful. Well, it might not be full of hope, but there are certainly enough slivers of the stuff in there to more than keep us all going.
Binding Type: Hardcover
Publisher: Knopf Publishing Group
Published: 04/10/2018
ISBN: 9780525655015
Pages: 64
Weight: 0.35lbs
Size: 7.10h x 5.10w x 0.70d
Review Citations: Kirkus Reviews 01/01/0001
Voice of Youth Advocates 08/01/2018 - Recommended - Hard To Beat
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4.6 ★★★★★
Based on 18 reviews
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 5
Love it
Good quality right size
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Reviewed in the United States on March 3, 2026
★★★★★ 5
For tough chewers
This is great for my large puppy. It has taken a beating, and I trim off any hanging or loose pieces of rubber. It has survived the test of time.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 13, 2025
★★★★★ 4
We call it the brick.
Great chew toy. Not really made for playing fetch. It’s large and very heavy. Good construction.
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Reviewed in the United States on February 26, 2025
★★★★★ 5
Pittie Perfect
My 75 pound pittie loves this toy! I put baby carrots as the treats and keep her occupied and happy!
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Reviewed in the United States on January 18, 2026
★★★★★ 3
Indestructible but hard to get treats out
We have a power chewer and have had the black Kong products for a long time. I opted to try this new design however, the shape makes it difficult for our dog to reach the treat. We have stopped using it since I had to keep digging the treat out for her. : ) The black Kong shaped like a pear works much better for her. Giving this 3 stars overall because she can't really use it well.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 8, 2024