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Ships within 48 hours · Estimated delivery Jul 18 - Jul 23
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Description
The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes)A conflicted villain and his unstoppable bride form the realms most chaotic alliance in this riotously funny dark romantasy perfect for fans of Assistant to the Villain, but darker and spicier. Whats mine stays mine. Step One: Kidnap someone cute. Step Two: Force her into marriage. Step Three: Try not to catch feelings. When Dark Lord Kazimir Blackrose kidnaps Lady Arabella for a forced marriage, he expects an obedient, trembling bride. What he gets
A conflicted villain and his unstoppable bride form the realm’s most chaotic alliance in this riotously funny dark romantasy perfect for fans of Assistant to the Villain, but darker and spicier.“What’s mine stays mine.”
Step One: Kidnap someone cute.
Step Two: Force her into marriage.
Step Three: Try not to catch feelings.
When Dark Lord Kazimir Blackrose kidnaps Lady Arabella for a forced marriage, he expects an obedient, trembling bride. What he gets is a knife to the throat and a furious woman with demands of her own. He may need her heroic bloodline to achieve ultimate dominion, but she’s not about to make this easy for him.
Arabella has already survived her father’s tower prison and a lifetime of being treated like property. Getting abducted by the realm’s most notorious villain is just another Tuesday. If she must be married to the infuriating (and infuriatingly attractive) Dark Lord, she’ll do it on her terms: freedom within his fortress, hands strictly to himself, and complete honesty about his plans.
But when those plans go awry, Kazimir faces his most terrifying challenge yet: he must date his own wife. Between magical training sessions, playing golf with the eyeballs of his enemies, and aphrodisiac dinners gone spectacularly wrong, his attempts at villainous seduction are failing at every turn.
As Kazimir and Arabella navigate magical explosions and jealous exes, they discover a far more terrifying prospect than war or magical catastrophe: They might actually be falling for each other.
This dark and sexy fantasy romance is perfect for readers who love: a morally gray antihero (who stays that way); a strong heroine who embraces her dark side (she doesn’t need rescuing, thanks); touch her and die trope; hilarious, wicked banter and sizzling spice; one bed/forced proximity; kidnapped bride/forced marriage; and dark humor.
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4.5 ★★★★★
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 4
Reliable age old formula
Size: 6.76 Fl Oz (Pack of 3)
I have used this formula for decades and it is reliable and consistent.
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Reviewed in the United States on January 7, 2025
★★★★★ 5
Dry Face needs moisture
Size: 6.76 Fl Oz (Pack of 3)
This cream was a lifesaver when my face was extremely dry. It’s rich but absorbs well, leaving my skin feeling deeply moisturized and smooth without feeling greasy. A little goes a long way, and it really helped restore my skin barrier.
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Reviewed in the United States on February 7, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Good
Size: 6.76 Fl Oz (Pack of 3)
Good
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Reviewed in the United States on April 28, 2026
★★★★★ 5
So much sturdy fun for little dogs!
Size: Small 2"
Wow! My puppy loves these! He is entertained endlessly chasing after and nose scooting the little rubber balls! He really seems to enjoy the jingle sound and loves to chew on the balls also. Even with a lot of chewing from his little teeth, there are no marks. Sturdy, great toy!
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Reviewed in the United States on May 9, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Well made, perfect size!
Size: Small 2"
My dogs love these balls. They are the perfect size and hold up well for my 2 dogs, 7# and 9#. The bell is a nice change from the squeaky toys.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 4, 2026